just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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