sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
