We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
