This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
