doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
In America we eat man semen.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize