Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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