Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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