If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
