another moral hangover. fuck.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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