Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
