ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
