i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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