ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
