haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
