I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
