smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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