The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
