Is it normal to miss your booty call?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
