Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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