I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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