I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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