your thong is hanging out like whoa
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
