his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
