Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
