When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
