I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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