so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
