our cab driver is having phone sex.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
