just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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