I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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