You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
