There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
