i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
