Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
