quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Less talking, more tequila
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize