Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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