Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
