I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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