ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
