We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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