You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize