Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
