I need to stop coming to work sober
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
