Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
