I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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