She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
