Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
