The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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