The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
