If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
