you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize