I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
