booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
