I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
