How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
