Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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