I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
