yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
